So, just because I'm no longer owned by John, does not mean that I haven't continued in my search for a new job. So far I've had several interviews but nothing solid. Until last week.
I met with an office that really needed my abilities and was offered the job. I also had another interview coming, that I hadn't been able to get to yet, that I feel would be a better fit for me.
I told the first offer I would get back to them Monday, yesterday.
In the meantime, I saw Oliver on Friday night.
While we were out for dinner he received a phone call. Immediately our weekend plans changed.
I was unable to see him for the entire weekend AND on top of that I had life choices to make and felt I was left mentally alone. I needed help to decide where to go in my future. I couldn't make this decision by myself. While Oliver was dealing with his issues, not one word was said about what choice I should make. I became very upset and irrational and I began to panic.
Towards the last of the weekend hours, I finally talked to him about how I felt.
There were some 'loud texting' back and forth, but we finally got it settled.
Am I 100% at ease yet? No. This relationship is still new for us and we have to work out the kinks. Ha! Kinks - Those I don't want to work out - I'd like to work them IN! Cough - back to the blog...I know we will get there. John and I, towards the end, were still working out things. Just part of being in any relationship. It's continued work. It's not a bad thing to have bumps. It's progress.
So Monday, yesterday, I also felt like I topped Oliver. I was very adamant about not taking the first offer. Almost like raising my voice about it. After I mentioned it to him today, he said that I didn't top and he was just listening to my opinion and hadn't wanted me to take that first offer anyway.
Ugh. I'm still so confused about what to do with my life. I know what I should do, which is to just calm my mind and know that Oliver will pick what's best. I guess perhaps because what happened over the weekend I am nervous. And as Oliver has mentioned, it's hard for me to get over things. He's right. It is. I'm sure I will die with grudges.
All day I have been overthinking "my" decision about the first offer and now think maybe I should have taken it. Why can't I just do what I'd like to do and just know that my Dom will take care of everything? How does one fix that? Or is it just time?
I'm hoping for some play this weekend. I'll ask if I'll be allowed to post any pics. Hopefully I can share some with you.
I met with an office that really needed my abilities and was offered the job. I also had another interview coming, that I hadn't been able to get to yet, that I feel would be a better fit for me.
I told the first offer I would get back to them Monday, yesterday.
In the meantime, I saw Oliver on Friday night.
While we were out for dinner he received a phone call. Immediately our weekend plans changed.
I was unable to see him for the entire weekend AND on top of that I had life choices to make and felt I was left mentally alone. I needed help to decide where to go in my future. I couldn't make this decision by myself. While Oliver was dealing with his issues, not one word was said about what choice I should make. I became very upset and irrational and I began to panic.
Towards the last of the weekend hours, I finally talked to him about how I felt.
There were some 'loud texting' back and forth, but we finally got it settled.
Am I 100% at ease yet? No. This relationship is still new for us and we have to work out the kinks. Ha! Kinks - Those I don't want to work out - I'd like to work them IN! Cough - back to the blog...I know we will get there. John and I, towards the end, were still working out things. Just part of being in any relationship. It's continued work. It's not a bad thing to have bumps. It's progress.
So Monday, yesterday, I also felt like I topped Oliver. I was very adamant about not taking the first offer. Almost like raising my voice about it. After I mentioned it to him today, he said that I didn't top and he was just listening to my opinion and hadn't wanted me to take that first offer anyway.
Ugh. I'm still so confused about what to do with my life. I know what I should do, which is to just calm my mind and know that Oliver will pick what's best. I guess perhaps because what happened over the weekend I am nervous. And as Oliver has mentioned, it's hard for me to get over things. He's right. It is. I'm sure I will die with grudges.
All day I have been overthinking "my" decision about the first offer and now think maybe I should have taken it. Why can't I just do what I'd like to do and just know that my Dom will take care of everything? How does one fix that? Or is it just time?
I'm hoping for some play this weekend. I'll ask if I'll be allowed to post any pics. Hopefully I can share some with you.
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